Looking round my own home, I know that I would feel quite daunted at the prospect of downsizing. I’ve managed to accumulate quite a lot of ‘stuff’ over the years, and who knows what’s going on in the loft!?
But, at some point, like most people I will probably downsize at least once. Here’s a faily typical situation:
I met John and Viv in January 2024. They and their two year old son, moved into their current 5 bedroom detached home in 1995, and one of their earliest memories in the house was their moving-in party where they were throwing some excellent shapes to Pulp’s ‘Disco 2000’ on the patio. (I still can’t believe that was 30 years ago!)🤯
Over the years they had two more children, two au pairs, countless sleepovers, two new kitchens, and one wedding (among other things).
But now the children have left and moved in with partners of their own, and even produced a couple of grandchildren.
So gradually, the 3500m2 house has felt bigger and bigger, and in the previous two years it had only really come alive at Christmas.
They were quite excited about moving to a smaller space. Their heads said it was the right thing to do, primarily because they wanted to give their children some money to buy their own homes, but also because the house was just too big for them.
Yes, they knew they’d have to de-clutter, the kids would have to empty their rooms, and after 30 years it would be tremendous hassle but it was also a little exciting.
I caught up with Viv again last week and her downsizing observations were all about the softer side of the move.
She said that initially she’d felt they’d made a big mistake. And her immediate reactions to the move were all negative:
- Grief – Although their old house had been too large, every room would conjure up memories of family life and happy events. Now she was in a flat that held no history for her.
- Loss of identity – Despite moving to a very nice flat in a posh block in the right part of town, Viv confessed that actually she’s like being the lady in the biggest house in the street and when moved she felt she’d lost her place in life.
- Less space – The first big family meal at the flat was very stressful, and it was an awkward squeeze to get everyone round a table.
But as time has gone on it’s all turned around. The positives seem to be:
- Tighter community – Viv and John know all their neighbours. Casual interactions on the stairs have led to a sense of community and some new friends.
- Better exercise – Previously Viv would find herself in her bedroom, wondering what it was she had gone upstairs to get. We’ve all bee there, but when your bedroom is on the second floor it’s a bit more annoying. Now the walk to the bedroom is easier and she can save her energy for walking to the shops or the gym (in the grounds).
- Less (big occasion) cooking – One more grandchild and someone else will need to host Christmas and so no more cooking!! Plus it now means their children (and their families) visit more often but separately.
Downsizing is still a lot of work on the practical side – decluttering, the emotionally exhausting process of deciding whether or not to throw away the ashtray that your now 35 year old son made at school, selling items or donating them to charity, telling friends and family, updating all your accounts/ insurance/ will, redirecting mail, changing doctors surgeries, the list is endless! But don’t forget the emotional adjustment that you might need.
Take time to grieve and adjust, moving from a family home is the end of a chapter, now strap yourself in for the next one!!
